I have a mate who’s a carpenter that works in South London who asked for a shout out so here you are!
This hasn’t really got as much to do with the benefits of having a baby as some of the other articles that I may have posted, but I remember that before I became a parent and was telling people and friends that we were expecting, many people kept telling me myths that I find to not be true now that I am a parent. One of the biggest myths is that people suggest you can’t do as much as you used to be able to do in the past. Something like playing the drums is what parents would say to other adults. “Oh, you wouldn’t be able to play the drums when you become a parent. Trust me.” Yet the thing is, how many musicians are actually parents? Most of them are. It isn’t as if Dave Grohl became a terrible drummer because he had a kid. It isn’t the end of the world to become a new parent and too many parents out there like to pretend as if having a baby is some type of step into adulthood that now means you cannot do anything you may enjoy at any point.
One of my favourite things to hear now that I look back on it was when parents told me that I could no longer have holidays because with a kid it is impossible. Why is it impossible? I can hire a babysitter for two weeks or give the baby to one of my friends or family for a few weeks to be taken care of. If they say yes then great! If not, I’ll ask someone else. It really isn’t as difficult as people can make it out to be and it really doesn’t stop you. A new baby would not stop you from being able to buy plane tickets to Aruba. The kid does take a lot of money out of your account granted, and it does take away a lot of the time that you actually have. But it’s not as if your kid makes it completely impossible for you to do any of this. Your kid does not really stop you from doing anything in your life unless you actively allow yourself to be stopped because you have a child. You really can still plan around having a child and allowing yourself to be able to do everything you want to do. You just have to find someone to either take care of your baby while you can’t, or pay for someone to do it.
Another new parent myth that I have found to be true apart from the fact your life is apparently over is that once your children grow up they want to be their own person and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. I really do think that is dependent on what type of parent you are and what type of relationship you have been able to build up with your child. You can easily still keep your child as someone who looks up to you and discusses everything with you if you are able to keep that relationship going the older that they become. For example, children will only keep secrets from you for a few reasons that can all be countered. Some children if they do something wrong may be scared of how you will act. That doesn’t mean you have to be completely passive to your childrens mistakes, but being able to communicate in a way that lets them be honest while also being able to listen to you is key. Some children may also keep secrets because they think that you may not do anything at all to them to punish them so it doesn’t matter. This is when you do need to take a firm hand with your children. There are different approaches to the way that you treat your children depending on what they think or feel. But being able to build a relationship of honesty with your children is key to knowing how to discipline or guide them in their lives.